Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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