Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
