i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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