At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
i now understand why vodka
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
