She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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