Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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