Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
