No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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