Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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