I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
as a side note pls kill me
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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