I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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