there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
