Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
