she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
