It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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