I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
