dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
