I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
