Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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