Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
