that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
