You made me cry and you don't even care
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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