His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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