dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
