is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
