Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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