im six kinds of drunk right now
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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