You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
