Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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