I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
