what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
