im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
