Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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