I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
