I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
