first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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