i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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