i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
