how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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