I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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