and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
