Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
