so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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