grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
