you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
