i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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