White coat. Heels.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize