i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
handjob tips. give me some.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
