im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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