i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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