I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
