It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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