Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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